Theresa May

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Theresa May was once the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and Leader of the Conservative Party.

Theresa May Swallows A Bug.jpg

Recently, she called a general election in the United Kingdom, to garner a strong majority in the parliament to have power making decisions with regard to the disaster known as Brexit.

However, the Conservative Party lost 12 seats in the parliament, and does not hold a majority. Upon hearing this, she really developed an amazing load of panty-fudge and Britain experienced "The Winds of Change" bringing forth storms of brown clouds giving way to intense streams of rapid fire diarrhea. Theresa May was seen taking a dump on her desk. There was just no opportunity to make it to the loo in time. Top MPs and Brexit-friendly janitors were called in to consult on the cleanup to no avail, as the damage was extensive. MI6 rapid response team arrived in time to save only one paper on the corner of the desk, which had only been half soaked in diarrhea. "Had this been done by ISIS it would have been ruled terrorism," opined one torrie member of parliament who had lost his seat in the deluge. "All of our seats are either soaked in brown, or fully packed with fudge, we can never sit there again!"

Blo Jo was chosen to take on the premiership to continue the brexshit debacle, however Theresa May is reportedly still washing her soiled D Pants to this day. She still remains a member of parliament, and has been watching Brexshit fail horribly up close and personal, and she continues to have tremendous diarrhea due to her concern for her constituents kicking her out of parliament for being such a Brexshiteer.

Rumors also circulate that Theresa May routinely offers her fresh diarrhea for Boris Johnson to use as hair product.